Wednesday, March 16, 2011

10 Things I learned From Parent/Teacher Conferences



1) The mute kid's parents are also mute. Crap.

2) Happy, healthy marriages tend to produce happy, healthy kids.
Go figure.

3) My left hand is bare and all the recently divorced dads are noticing. No, we don't have end-of-the-year parent volunteer sign-ups. No, your kid did not in fact mention that you went to WSU back in 1997 for a couple of semesters. Actually, I was 9 at the time sir.

4) The kid who always has seventeen time outs in the day to "re-think about his choices" has 4 younger siblings. Perfect. Job Security. And gray hair. Hopefully for someone else.

5) Oh, your child has been telling you I haven't assigned homework for the last 5 weeks?? That's false. Your child is a very sweet, very pathological liar.

6) ADD is in fact, hereditary.

7) Report cards are a foreign language all of their own. And I can now read and translate this language upside down. In a soothing, comforting manner.

8) Hard conversations are hard. No matter what. Trying to explain to a Mom with 9 kids that her son needs to repeat the first grade is like trying to keep the titanic afloat with a piece of duct tape. The issue is bigger, and goes deeper than I'm qualified, trained and mentally capable of going.

9) Your kid is getting a Wii if this conference goes well?! What in the sam hill...

10) I understand my students a thousand times better than I did at the start of this week. And, I need a glass of wine.




2 comments:

  1. Grant and I are laughing out loud. You crack us up! Grant thinks you should be a Comedian instead of a Teacher. Truly. Funny.

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  2. this is hilarious! Except no. 8 which is a hard truth! That's what prayer is for :) I'll pray for you for guidance in those convos and in teaching! You are doing a great thing!

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