Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Class Party.


It was just another typical day in our classroom. Wait, no actually, it wasn't. My students were being abnormally quiet/productive/studious. I decided they had earned a "class point" for their good behavior.

Dumb, dumb, dumb idea.

You see, I wasn't paying attention when I awarded them this glorious class point. If I, in that split second before I opened my big mouth, had had the insight to look at the whiteboard, I would have realized the class had earned 49 points.

And so they earned magical number 50.

Cheers broke out. I got really nervous. Festive noises usually means someone has discovered a new bodily function in the first grade.

Thus, I give you the following conversation. I tried to remember it word for word because it was just too ridiculous.

____________________________________________________

Me: OH guys, you have successfully earned 50 class points! Good job, so you've earned a class party.

'Jimmy': That is a MIRACLE.

Me: Does anyone have an idea of how we could spend our points and what we should do for our class party? Raise your hand, please.

Jimmy: Let's buy a Harp Seal!!
(for the record, we have been doing a study unit on polar regions)

'Hank': Let's buy a Wii!!!

Me: Does anyone have an idea we can actually do? These are class points, not dollars.

'Pat': I LOVE LLAMAS!!! Let's go to the Llama farm in Walla, Walla!

Me: Again, this is a class party guys, not a field trip.

Jimmy: Ice-Cream!

Pat: I LOVE Ice-Cream!

Hank: A Slip-N-Slide!!

----Much Laughter----

Pat: A Slip-N-Slide with ice-cream at the end of it!!

----Much Laughter, Lots of Clapping----

Me: I think maybe I should just come up with ideas for the class party and then we'll vote on it tomorrow.

Jimmy: (whispering to Hank) Do you think Seals like ice-cream?


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

10 Things I learned From Parent/Teacher Conferences



1) The mute kid's parents are also mute. Crap.

2) Happy, healthy marriages tend to produce happy, healthy kids.
Go figure.

3) My left hand is bare and all the recently divorced dads are noticing. No, we don't have end-of-the-year parent volunteer sign-ups. No, your kid did not in fact mention that you went to WSU back in 1997 for a couple of semesters. Actually, I was 9 at the time sir.

4) The kid who always has seventeen time outs in the day to "re-think about his choices" has 4 younger siblings. Perfect. Job Security. And gray hair. Hopefully for someone else.

5) Oh, your child has been telling you I haven't assigned homework for the last 5 weeks?? That's false. Your child is a very sweet, very pathological liar.

6) ADD is in fact, hereditary.

7) Report cards are a foreign language all of their own. And I can now read and translate this language upside down. In a soothing, comforting manner.

8) Hard conversations are hard. No matter what. Trying to explain to a Mom with 9 kids that her son needs to repeat the first grade is like trying to keep the titanic afloat with a piece of duct tape. The issue is bigger, and goes deeper than I'm qualified, trained and mentally capable of going.

9) Your kid is getting a Wii if this conference goes well?! What in the sam hill...

10) I understand my students a thousand times better than I did at the start of this week. And, I need a glass of wine.




Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Song-Singer and the Princess




Once upon a time, in a land very near to here, lived a princess. She was born when the first golden rays of sunshine tumbled over the hilltops. The Song-Singer, the One who sings everything into motion had prepared a beautiful kingdom for the baby princess. In this kingdom was everything the princess could ever want or need. All her dreams lived in this kingdom.

The Song-Singer created her for his own happiness. She brought the Song-Singer such big, big joy. He had a special song that he sang, a special song for the baby princess. He loved to sing the special song, just for her.

From the very day she was born the princess had an enemy. He was mean, he was nasty. He would sneak up behind her and whisper lies, lies meant to hurt. The Song-Singer would sing over the baby princess and His beautiful voice would call to the princess and she would turn her face once more to the Song-Singer. The Song-Singer's voice would blow away the lies, until those lies were no more. The lies were drowned out by the beautiful song of the Song-Singer.


Day after day, night after night the Song-Singer sang over the princess. But one day, the terrible Enemy whispered a little lie into the princess' ear. The Song-Singer was singing over her still, but the princess turned her ear ever so slightly towards the whisper of the Enemy. The princess was just curious, that's all. She could still hear the Song-Singer's voice, for it was strong and it was beautiful.

But the Enemy was whispering about her. The Enemy whispered, "Don't listen to the Song-Singer. Sing your own song, over yourself. A better song, maybe."

That was the lie.

She turned her ear a little bit more towards the Enemy. The Song-Singer would never stop singing and loving. He was the Song-Singer.

He was Song and Love itself.

"Ill just listen to this little Enemy and his little lie for just one minute. The Song-Singer will never stop singing over me, of course," said the princess to herself. So, the princess turned her whole head towards the Enemy. She could still hear the Song-Singer and His beautiful song, although it was a little quieter than before. The Enemy looked like everything the princess wanted to be. But she couldn't quite hear the whisper he was now whispering.

So the princess turned her body towards the Enemy. Now she could hear the whisper better. "The Song-Singer will keep singing His song, even while I listen to this little lie for just one minute."

But just then the Enemy took a step backwards.

"I want to hear that whisper," said the princess, "the Song-Singer won't even notice if I listen to the Enemy." S0, the princess took one step towards the Enemy, to hear his little whisper lie.

And do you know what that little Enemy did?

He took another step backwards, smiling his nasty little grin. The princess followed him. She could still hear the voice of the Song-Singer, although his voice was muffled and she couldn't quite hear all the words anymore.

So one step after another, the Princess walked away from the Song-Singer and followed the Enemy. One step after another, the little Enemy lead her farther and farther away from the Song-Singer.

Until one day, the princess couldn't hear the Song-Singer's voice anymore. The Enemy had lead her so far away from the beautiful voice of the Song-Singer that now all she could hear was the whisper of the Enemy.

The princess looked all around her. She wasn't in the kingdom the Song-Singer had made for her anymore. She was in a kingdom full of things from the Enemy's whisper. Things that had sounded good in the whisper. But these things could not compare to the kingdom and song of the Song-Singer. Everything looked fake and crumbling down. All the things the princess had thought sounded so wonderful, didn't seem so wonderful now.

The princess tried to listen to hear the beautiful voice of the Song-Singer, but all she could hear was the whisper she had been listening to for so long. The princess covered her ears with her hands to try to block out the sound of the Enemy's whisper. All she could hear was that horrible whisper lie. No matter how tightly she covered her ears. She was a captive in the kingdom of the Enemy.

A tear slid down her cheek.

"What have I done? I can't hear the Song-Singer's song anymore. All I hear is the whisper, all I hear is the lie. I don't even know the way back to the Song-Singer," she cried.

The princess fell to her knees. She was tired of that terrible Enemy and his lies and his whisper. Why, oh why had she ever listened to that Enemy in the first place?

"Please, Song-Singer, where ever you are, show me how to get to you," the princess sobbed.

The princess opened her tear filled eyes and through the blur of her hot tears saw the most beautiful feet (if feet can be beautiful!) The princess looked up into the kindest, strongest eyes she had ever looked into. These eyes smiled at her, twinkled. These eyes were familiar, like she had seen them before, somehow.

"Do I know you?" asked the princess as she sniffled in her nose.

The kind, strong eyes belonged to kind, strong man. This kind, strong man smiled big. And then he laughed and squatted down in front of the princess. His hands were rough but gentle as he reached up and dried the princess' tears. The princess was certain she saw a sliver in one of this kind man's fingers.

"I came here to rescue you, Princess." The man with the kind smile had a deep, strong voice.

"Oh. How did you know I needed to be rescued?" asked the princess as one last sniffle snuffled in her nose.

The man with the kind smile grew serious. His voice was deep and strong as he answered.

"My Father sent me."

"Your father? Who is your father? And how does your father know I needed to be rescued?" the princess wrinkled her nose like one does when one has a lot of questions.

The man with the kind eyes and the kind smile, smiled again.

"My Father is the Great Song-Singer. And the Great Song-Singer knows everything about you princess. The Song-Singer sent me to save you so you could hear his beautiful song once more."

"He knows... everything?" squeaked the princess. If the Song-Singer knew everything, then He knew the princess had stopped listening to His beautiful song and had listened to the whisper of the Enemy. He would know she had followed the Enemy. He would know she didn't know how to get back to His kingdom on her own. her cheeks became pink, like cheeks do when we get embarrassed.

"Yes, He knows everything and loves you still. He is still singing the beautiful song He sings over you in His kingdom. He never stopped singing over you. He watched you walk away. His heart broke. And that's when He asked me to leave His kingdom and come rescue you," explained the kind, strong man.

The princess thought about this for a little minute.

"Why did He send you, His son?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Because I am the Rescuer Prince. Its my job to rescue all those who want to know the Song-Singer. I was sent here to save you, because you are the Song-Singer's princess, whom He loves."

The princess smiled shyly. She liked this Rescuer Prince. He was good, and He was kind. His voice was very familiar to. It was just like the Great Song-Singer's, if the Song-Singer talked just like a man.

"Okay, well I think I'm ready to be rescued," the princess decided.

The Rescuer Prince nodded his head in agreement.

"Do you trust me?" asked the Rescuer Prince. The princess thought for another little moment, and then in a quiet spot in her heart she knew the answer. Something in her heart told her she needed to trust this Rescuer Prince.

"Yes, I trust you, Rescuer Prince. I trust you to save me and help me get back to the Great Song-Singer."

The Rescuer Prince smiled and put His strong hand on her shoulder.

"Okay, my Princess. Here's the plan. The Song-singer made up this plan. I am going to take your place. I am going to trade your life for mine. I am the only way to the Song-Singer. There is no other way, I MUST take your place." The Rescuer Prince's voice broke, and His voice became deeper still. A tear slid down the corner of one eye, and then the corner of the other.

The princess stood very still. What kind of Rescuer Prince was this? What kind of son was he? Why would he trade his life for mine, thought the princess.

"Because, the Song-Singer loves you and wants you to know His beautiful voice. He made you to sing His beautiful song with Him, " said the Rescuer Prince quietly.

The princess looked up quickly, this Rescuer Prince knew her thoughts! The Rescuer Prince smiled kindly, as His tears dried. His eyes seemed stronger now. The Rescuer Prince pointed to a hilltop far away. The princess squinted and could barely make out a cross.

"There is where I am going to trade my life for yours. On that cross. A cross on top of a hill. For the whole world to see." The Rescuer Prince stood tall.

"I must go now Princess, but before I do, please know this. There are more people just like you who need to know how to get back to the Song-Singer's kingdom."

The princess nodded her head up and down.

"Tell everyone you meet on your way back to the Song-Singer's kingdom about Me. I came to rescue you, but the Song-Singer has sent Me to rescue all people everywhere, so that anyone can go to the Song-Singer's kingdom and sing with Him forever."

The princess nodded again, but a little thought was stuck in her brain.

"Okay, I will. But what if no one believes me? What if no one believes that You rescued me and that you are the Son of the Song-Singer, what if no one believes you are a Rescuer Prince?" The princess' questions came out in a tumbled rush.

The Rescuer Prince smiled a big, big smile. His eyes looked right into the wide eyes of the princess.

"Do you trust Me princess?"

She nodded slowly, and then she nodded quickly.

"And do you remember how beautiful the Song-Singer's voice was?"asked the Rescue Prince.

The princess nodded again. She did remember.

"Everyone has a memory of the Song-Singer's Voice written on their hearts. When the Song-Singer sang everything into motion, His beautiful voice left an imprint on every heart of every human being. His beautiful song is worth everything. Being with the Song-Singer is worth everything. Nothing can compare to the beauty of the Song-Singer and His song. But you must tell people how they can get to the Song-Singer's kingdom. You must tell them about how I am the Rescuer Prince sent by the Song-Singer to take their place on that cross over there. Tell them how they can be free from the whisper of the Enemy. I love you Princess, but I must go now. This is my choice. Never forget, I did this for you. Because the Song-Singer and I love you."

The Princess nodded. The Rescuer Prince turned to walk away.

"But what if I need help? How will I know where to go or how to tell people about you?" she asked.

The Rescuer Prince turned around and replied, "The Helper is in your heart now. It lives there. The Helper will guide you. It knows the rescue plan and it also knows the Song of the Great Song-Singer. When you trusted me, the Helper came to live in your heart, forever and ever, so you are never, ever alone."

The Rescuer Prince smiled his kind, strong smile.

"The Helper is that still, quiet voice in your heart. Its always trustworthy. You can always call on the Helper and you will hear the Song-Singer's voice."

Just then, a small, faint echo of something spoke into the princess' heart. It was the faint echo of the Song-Singer's voice. The sound was amazing, and achingly familiar to the princess. This faint echo was so beautiful the Princess thought her smile would stretch off her face. The Rescuer Prince walked away and faded into the distance until He was too small to see. But the princess knew where He had gone. She knew because the faint echo in her heart told her so. The Helper, whose Voice was the echo of the Song-Singer's told her. She had been rescued. The Great Song-Singer was still singing over her. She could hear His song in her heart now.

The princess turned around. She was going back to the Song-Singer's kingdom someday. But before then, she needed to tell as many people in THIS kingdom about the Great Song-Singer, and His Son, the Rescuer Prince.

And so she did.




The end.