How true that is. Five thousand dollars IS out of MY reach...but not God's. He can reach it. He can raise it. He can pour out the blessings. He COULD prompt someone to write a thousand dollar check. What a beautiful testament to worshiping the Lord that would be.
But I think there is a reason the Lord wants me to be stretched, uncomfortable...and totally reliant upon Him. Faith. To stretch my faith. To make me come to Him, with all my worrying (aka fear...aka sin) and confess my doubts and let Him reassure me. I have learned a lot about God and myself throughout this process. First, I have learned that only when I learn to trust everything to the Lord, all my doubts, fears of failure, anxiousness will all that go away. I am completely incapable of providing myself with reassurance that God gives me. I reassure myself and five minutes later I am doubting again. I go to the Lord and say, "Look, I am not so good at this. I am fearful that this won't happen. Help me get rid of that fear. Teach me to have a wise and discerning heart. In all things, let me glorify You." Annnnnnnd guess what. He comforts me. He shows me a verse that strikes a chord and reassures me that the Lord can and WILL provide. And all that worry and doubt goes away.
I have been blessed beyond belief by friends and family in the last few weeks. Unbelievably blessed. I feel like a sponge that just can't hold it all in. In their words, actions and prayers I have been blown away by certain people's faithfulness to the Lord. Their example has bettered my own relationship with Jesus.
I dream of Italy.
Not every night, but there have been several recently. I dream of conversations I have with people and walking around the city of Siena. Its always beautiful, and I always feel the Holy Spirit with me. I LOVE these dreams, I never want to wake up.
Pray for my heart, that it would be faithful. Always, in all ways.
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